Reaching Wesley

UPDATE:  

Wesley's family reached him the week before his birthday and he is HOME now with his family!  

My oldest son is 14 years old.

OK...here he was only 6...but in my mind he still looks like this! 

He is responsible and level-headed...relatively good at keeping his room clean and doing the dishes.  He even mows the lawn and does his own laundry (when he runs out of clothes because he did not bring me his laundry)!  He is terribly independent, but he is only 14.  

Therefore, he still needs us (parents) for academic, social and emotional reasons...and for us to pay for the crazy amount of food the skinny as a rail  tall, thin young man can consume!  He is NOT an adult.  Nor will he be for several more years in the eyes of the U.S.  And even that age is questionable at times.

However, things are different in China.  At the age of 14, children "age out."  This means that on the day of their 14th birthday, and not one day later, they totally lose their chance of having a family to call their own.  This can mean many things depending on the area these children live, but for now I think that losing their chance at a family says enough.  

And here we find Wesley.  

Wesley is a healthy young man with albinism.  He does well in school and is not a picky eater.  He loves to hang out with his friends, watch cartoons, and play ball outside.  

Wesley is said to be a happy boy with a shy personality.  He gets along well with his peers and is well-liked.  

Wesley needs a family to commit to him SOON!  His file is on the shared list so any agency with a China program will have access to his file.  Although a family who is already in-process would be ideal, it is possible for a family just beginning the adoption journey to reach him in time.  

Finding Wesley's family will take a miracle.  Time is so short.  But just in case his family reads this blog, or one of the several other advocacy blogs that are posting about him this week, a concerted effort is being made.  

Please pray for Wesley...and for the hundreds of children in China that will soon age out.  Pray that their family sees their pictures, listens to their stories, and pursues these amazing children.  They have so much to offer our families...they are just waiting for their chance! 

Wesley has a $10,000 grant available to help his family complete his adoption.  In addition, families who choose to use WACAP as their agency may qualify for an additional $4,000.  If you couple those things with the current adoption tax credit, this adoption would be essentially of NO COST to the family when all is said and done.  He just needs his family to say "YES!"

For resources on parenting a child with albinism, check out the following:

Raising a Child with Albinism

National Organization for Albinism and Hyperpigmentation (NOAH)

Videos by NOAH

Bai China Yahoo! Group

Video depicting how a person with albinism sees

For support in completing an aging out adoption at WARP speed, this Facebook group is full of families that can offer their advice to reach him as quickly as possible.  

A Tale of Two Decades

The countdown has begun...in 10 days the youngest child to come from my belly will turn 10.  After a roller coaster pregnancy, our "special surprise from Jesus" entered our family and I absolutely cannot imagine our lives without him.  He brings joy to my heart everyday...even on the days that I want to duct tape him to his school chair  rough days.

For 10 years we have watched him grow, change and mature.

Some days with him have been REALLY long, and other days I pray for more time to enjoy this little boy who isn't so little anymore.     Lord, help me to remember that my time with him is SO limited.  Help me instill in him the values and faith that he needs to become the man of God you have destined him to be.

There have been 10 birthdays, 10 Christmases, 10 Easters, 10 summer vacations, and even 10 lost teeth.  There are innumerable photos, LOTS of funny stories, and even new words that will forever be a part of our family thanks to this sweet boy.

A lot happens in 10 years, and I am excited to watch the next decade as well.  

There is another little boy whose life also started 10 years ago, but his story, up to this point, is quite different.  He was born on another continent and to a family that was unable to care for him.  Finley is a happy, healthy boy who now waits for his forever family to find him.  Did you read that?  HEALTHY...WAITS...FOREVER FAMILY.  He has spent 10 birthdays, 10 Christmases, 10 Easters. 10 summer vacations and quite a few lost teeth....ALONE.  

But oh the joy he has in that smile!

Ten year old Finley is a healthy, quiet, introverted boy who spent his first several years in another institute before coming to his current orphanage in August 2012. Despite this big transition, he is doing very well! He is close to his caretaker and roommates, and likes playing with the other children and watching TV. He is attending school at the orphanage, and does well in class, obeying the rules and listening carefully. He is a helpful boy who will often assist the teacher by sweeping the floor or cleaning the blackboard. The orphanage feels that because he didn’t have early education, his performance is just average and he learns a little slower than his peers.  However, they also feel that his language and writing are excellent! He can do simple math, and has even learned some basic greetings and names of fruits in English. His motor skills are all normal; he can run and use the stairs, pick up small objects with chopsticks, and draw geometric figures. He can sing songs, and recite Tang Dynasty poetry, though his pronunciation isn’t always proper. He can do all his daily care tasks of dressing, eating, and bathing, but this little boy still longs to be adopted. He hopes he can have a caring family! 

Finley had a small hemangioma or lipoma on the back of his neck, but it receded without treatment.  He is now a healthy little boy whose greatest need is for his family to find him.

Finley is currently on WACAP’s designated list.  There is a $4000 grant available for families who qualify to assist with this adoption.

Yes, a lot happens in 10 years, but still so much more for Finley and his family to look forward to!  

Please email me  or contact Elizabeth for information on beginning the journey to bring Finley home.    

Waiting for My Family

Although our sweet son Mycah's condition is very rare, last week I came across these two sweet young ladies who have also been diagnosed with CAH.  This is SO manageable here in the U.S.  I am happy to talk with anyone who would like more information on parenting a child who has adrenal insufficiency.  Both of these girls have a $4000 grant available for qualified families that choose to use WACAP (our amazing agency).  They are currently on the shared list, however, and so their file can be pulled by any adoption agency with a China program. 

Louise

When Louise came into care at 5 years old, she was very shy and quiet.  

When anyone would talk to her, she would lower her head and rarely speak back.  At 6 she was placed with a foster family.  She enjoyed this very much and is very close to her foster brother who is wheel-chair bound.  After almost 4 years with her foster family, she is a more confident child.  

She enjoys school and will answer questions out loud in class.  Louise loves to help!  She will often help her teachers with classroom jobs.  Helping her fellow classmates and her foster brother puts a smile on her face!  Her shyness has all but disappeared, and her caretakers say she has an “inner heart as bright as the sunshine!”

Jenni  

Jenni has been in her orphanage since she was very young.  

She is said to be an “extrovert”, but is initially shy with strangers.  She attends school at the orphanage and is a hard worker.  Concepts taught by her teachers are easily grasped.   At age 7, she knew 10 Tang poems, several children’s songs, could write simple Chinese words, and knew simple addition and subtraction.  Drawing, however, is what she loves!  She likes to draw people and share her works with others.  Her teachers and caretakers all like her and praise her as a good helper.  Her caretakers say she although she has “deep emotion” for her orphanage, she “hopes to have a real home in which her parents love her.”  

Both of these sweet girls have been diagnosed with congenital adrenal hyperplasia.  Their adrenal glands lack an enzyme needed to make certain hormones.  This is treated with daily oral medication (typically 3-4 times a day) for life.  

There are some wonderful resources available for families affected by this condition. A file review by a pediatric endocrinologist is suggested as well.

• National Adrenal Diseases Foundation: www.nadf.us
• The MAGIC Foundation: www.magicfoundation.org
• The CARES Foundation: www.caresfoundation.org

And just so you know, my CAHer is full of life and love and it doesn't slow him down one bit!  Love our boy! 

Sweet Grace

Update:  My family FOUND me!!!

This sweet little face belongs to Grace.  

As we come upon Mother's Day in a couple more days, I cannot help but think about the millions of children who still desperately need their very own mommy.  Like Grace.  Although her nannies describe her as timid and shy, she gets along well with others and is said to be energetic.  She loves to listen to music, read books, and play with toys.  Dolls happen to be her favorite, and she likes to play hide and seek.  Grace has been diagnosed with CHD, specifically VSD and pulmonary hypertension.  Grace will soon be 6 years old.  Her height, weight, and physical development are consistent with most other kids with a similar diagnosis.  Test results and images are available for her family to see, as well as a video.  On paper, her condition can seem bleak.  The reality is that she needs a family soon...really soon.  

A family that is willing to love in spite of the risk.  

A family that knows this child is more than medical test results and papers in a file. 

A family who knows she is their very own beloved daughter.

Grace’s file is currently with WACAP and she has a $4,000 grant for qualified families.  Please email familyfinders@wacap.org for more information.  

Plenty of resources and encouragement from families of other heart children are available.  The following sites are great places to learn more about CHD.

Johns Hopkins Children’s Hospital

Little Hearts

Kids with Heart

Congenital Heart Information Network Resources

Yale School of Medicine

China Heart Children Yahoo! group

To learn more about parenting a child with severe CHD, you can check out this family’s blog as well as this family’s blog.  

One Year Later

Perhaps it is just me, and the fact I just had my really BIG birthday?  But the older I get, the faster time seems to go.  Especially in regards to my children and how they have grown.  Where does the time go?  Lord, help me to treasure each seemingly mundane moment that I have with them.  They seem to be slipping away one day at a time!

Although our first year with Mycah has been no different, I can still so distinctly remember our trip to China!  I can liken it to meeting my other 3 kids for the first time…although the setting much different!  The smallest details still come to mind about March 18, 2013:

packing his little backpack of goodies and worrying about forgetting paperwork,

what I wore, how hot the room was, how LOUD the room was, 

how incredibly nervous my stomach felt,

seeing him behind the curtain before they brought him out,

seeing them coldly pull him along by the hand as they dragged him out of the waiting room and brought him to me,

how they prompted him to call me "mama" and then just gave me his hand and walked away,

how his feet seemed glued to the floor as he was unsure of this new weird-looking lady that he was to now call "mama",

how I finally picked up his tiny little 30 lb body and he smelled SO bad,

how I showed him his back pack and his eyes lit up (but no smile!) at the site of a Mickey Mouse toy and a dum-dum sucker,

taking pictures with our other WACAP families and their beautiful new children,

finally leaving and heading to the store with a child that looked like he was in absolute shock and took no comfort in being in his mama's arms.

And oh the relief that flooded over me at that moment.  It was done.  He was here.  And although I knew the days ahead would be full of many unknowns, one thing was sure…he was no longer an orphan, but a much sought after son.

In my memory, our days in China were the trip of a lifetime.   But now he tells me he was scared and sad.  Which was pretty obvious during our trip!  But a few days later we were heading home to start life as a family of 6.

Once we met Darrell and the kids at the airport, and walked to the van, I was already seeing the first real smiles from my sweet boy.  I think he was relieved to know he wouldn't be stuck with two weird looking ladies anymore (no offense Sonia!), but there were actually KIDS involved in this deal now!

Mycah has grown in every way imaginable this year.  He has gained 10 lbs and grown 7 inches.  He understands everything that is said to him, including most abstract things, and has quite a vast speaking vocabulary that is now only sprinkled with a few Chinese words on occasion.  He can cross monkey bars, ride a bike, tie his own shoes, sing about Jesus, say and write his ABC's, work an iPad and computer as well as my 9 year old, and he now finds comfort in the arms of this mama.  And daddy…but he is still mostly a mama's boy.

The time has flown, but it has been precious.  I am so thankful that God picked us to be his parents.  Although we have had our share of challenging days, I cannot lose sight of the fact that this little boy who had so little has blessed our hearts so much!

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him."  Psalm 127:3

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